Kumquat:

1. Any of several trees or shrubs of the genus Fortunella bearing small orange-colored edible fruits with thick sweet-flavored skin and sour pulp.

2. Small oval citrus fruit with thin sweet rind and very acid pulp.







Kumquats are in season and I'm eating them by the handful. I thought they were super-tiny clementines. Who could be bothered to peel those things? Clementines they are not, and one can eat the rind! In fact, the skin is the sweetest part while the inside is sour. Ever watch a nature film and see a monkey just chomp into a fruit without peeling it and you think to yourself "Damn Monkey! You're a crazy animal just eating fruit rind like that." Kumquats let me be that monkey. I am just an animal.

Also, if you eat enough the inside edge of your lips get a little tingly numb, similar to what the pulpy white rind of a pomelo can do. They share that slight grapefruit/tonic water bitterness too. Delicious.


Wanna know what's not delicious?



Sliced cheese that comes taped to actual cheese as a sample. Bonus cheese. Processed cheese is pretty synthetic to begin with, but this goes a step beyond. This is bathroom caulking for your sandwich. This is cheese teleported through Brundlefly's transporter a thousand times.